The Importance of Home
Known for his role as resident child psychologist on Channel 4’s The Secret Life of 5-Year-Olds, Professor Howard-Jones is supporting ShelterBox’s Christmas appeal.
After a decade of conflict in Syria, a generation of children has grown up in a war zone. For thousands of displaced families, this won’t be their first winter spent in freezing temporary shelters having been forced to flee their homes and livelihoods by the brutal war.
To mark ShelterBox’s Christmas appeal supporting Syrian families with emergency shelter and other household items, Child psychologist Paul Howard-Jones, reflects on the importance of a safe and stable home on a child’s development.
Home is a place where children can explore, play, discover, and have those critical interactions with adults that help them develop the confidence and skills that shape the person they will later become.
It’s the here-and-now world experienced by parents and their children together that has the greatest effect on a young child’s development… watching someone open a book and hearing them read, being invited to touch things when learning to count, being asked questions about what they see.
But this is less straightforward when children are surrounded by an atmosphere of fearfulness and loss. It can undermine the capacities of adults and children and may damage the foundations on which future development and learning must build.
The Impact on Children
Our early experiences can have a life-long impact on how we think, feel, and relate to the world and each other. When the world is a fearful place, full of chaos and anxiety, children can learn not to engage with it and instead withdraw.
Many of us may have noticed a child fall silent when they encounter something they fear – a sinister character in a film or seeing a scary animal in a zoo. But serious trauma can have a more prolonged impact on a child’s communication – with knock-on effects for their long-term development.
Talking about feelings, for example, is an important part of a child coming to understand and control their emotions – but this can be more difficult for children who have experienced trauma or grown up in a truly fearful or difficult world. When a child does not feel safe or secure, their brain, which is still developing, will find ways to adapt in order to cope. This is why children may seem more withdrawn or not be able to sleep.
One of the most common signs of anxiety amongst children is sleep disturbance – which is a double whammy for learning because a good night’s sleep helps make permanent what’s already been learnt.
The Impact on Parents
In such challenging circumstances, it will be immensely difficult for parents struggling to achieve a nurturing home environment. Research suggests that, even when we try not to, we transmit feelings of anxiety to our children unconsciously.
Parents who have been forced to flee their homes with their children will be coping with so much. In addition to the almost unimaginable circumstances, they may also be having to help their children with issues like sleep disruption, diminished self-esteem, isolation, and withdrawal. This will be enormously emotionally challenging for the whole family.
It must feel very difficult to create positive learning experiences when the place you are living in feels unsafe and insecure, where a child’s natural curiosity and enthusiasm are so easily displaced by traumatic memories as well as fear of their current surroundings.
That’s why I’m supporting ShelterBox’s Global Gifts appeal, providing emergency shelter and other essential household items to help Syrian families keep warm this winter and feel safer together.
ShelterBox is providing emergency shelter to help Syrian families shield from the cold, giving them a place to be together, and providing people with a more comfortable night’s sleep. This winter, ShelterBox will continue to provide people with aid items like mattresses, blankets, warm clothing and tarpaulins.
Top banner: Solaf, 7 years old, Syria.